A Strong Foundation: Rick’s Story of Hope
I used to think that it was my destiny to be an alcoholic. It started so young for me that I was getting high by the age of 8. I was prescribed Ritalin at a young age, and when my mom would give it to me everyday and I wouldn’t always take it. I would save them up and take 2 or 3 at a time and get high at school and just act like a complete goofball. My parents became concerned about my behavior and took me to a psychiatrist. The doctor hospitalized me and I was placed in the juvenile wing of a mental hospital sharing a room with teenagers who were heroin addicts. They abused me for the week I was there.
Unfortunately my time in the hospital destroyed my trust in everyone I encountered and turned me into an extremely angry child. By the age of 15 I dropped out of high school and got a construction job making $20 per hour, which was a lot of money for me back in the day. Every weekend I would blow my paycheck on drugs and partying, and it became my lifestyle.
By the time I was 25 I had been arrested 10 times. After spending 3 and half weeks in jail, I decided to go into the army. They had recently lowered their standards because the Iraq war had gotten so unpopular. In the army I learned that I needed discipline, structure, and brotherhood to thrive. And that’s exactly what I got at The Extension. The housemen became my new sergeants, and I entered a brotherhood tighter than I’d ever experienced before. Eventually, I learned to trust again and let go of my anger. I know it sounds crazy- but I was even able to hug someone without wanting to break their neck.
The education I received at The Extension built a completely new rock solid foundation that I still rely on every day. I’m 13 years sober and the education I received at The Extension has proved to be more valuable than the 9 and half years I’ve spent in college since then. Recently I’ve had to make the hardest decision of my life, and I don’t know if I could’ve done it without the tools that The Extension gave me. I learned to put my sobriety first and my kids first.
Becoming a father was a dream come true for me. For a long time I experienced a lot of shame and guilt about being a deadbeat dad to my oldest daughter, but I’ve been able to reconcile our relationship. The birth of my son in 2015 granted me a fresh start at fatherhood. He is the greatest gift that God has given me. I used to have dreams about a little boy with blonde hair and blue eyes, and my dream came true when that little boy was born.
There’s nothing I would change about my time at The Extension. Thankfully, I was broken enough to realize I needed help, and it came at the right time in my life for it to stick. JJ Bremner saved my life. I still have my sponsor that I got at The Extension, and for 8 years I went back every Sunday afternoon at 1 for an AA meeting. Of course, life is hectic now with my kids and the PhD program I’m in, but I still make time to go to meetings and share my experiences. I hope that I get to inspire someone with everything I’ve been through.
When I was at The Extension and met people who were 20 years sober, I never thought I would make it there. But here I am at 13 years, and I know I will. I just went through the most drastic change in my life, and I never once thought about relapsing. Of course it was extremely difficult, and my mental health took a toll, but I never wanted to go back to drugs and alcohol.
I’m still close with the friends I made while I was there, and even when we don’t talk regularly, I know they have my back and I have theirs. There will always be difficulties and tragedies in life to navigate, but the foundation that The Extension gave me allows me to approach them with tools that will keep me on the right path even when the road ahead is dark.
Today, I have a passion and fire for life that burns brighter than it ever has before. I look forward to the challenges I will face because I know I will overcome them. I just hope that in sharing my experience, those people who think they are destined to fail or will never make it to being 20 years sober- will find new hope through a stronger foundation.
