Peace is Worth The Chance: Charity’s Story of Hope
I met Charity while I was an intern at the women’s Extension, and we connected right away. She was open, genuine, and truly willing to do the work to get sober. Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of watching her grow and give back to the recovery community—especially to the women’s Extension—through sponsorship and simply showing up for events and supporting others.
She is truly a miracle, and I feel honored to have witnessed her transformation over the years.
Danielle Lopresti, Extension Alumna
A little more than 5 years ago, I felt only pain, desperation, and hopelessness. I could not manage life, myself, my emotions, or relationships of any kind. Today, I am very grateful for having that experience because it motivates me to continue to find deeper levels of an existence that I never dreamed was possible. My life is a testament to the transformative power of recovery, faith, and service — and I continue to strive toward growth, purpose, and giving back each day.
Before I got to The Extension, my life was a blur. I knew something wasn’t right, but I don’t think I fully recognized the extent of what I was going through. My whole life I had pretended to be okay for everybody else’s comfort. Unfortunately, it was my son who was bearing the brunt of my decisions. I didn’t have a phone for a while, and he had to track me down through Facebook just to find out what state I was in. I know now that I was emotionally unavailable throughout his whole life. I may have been present, but I was never really there for him. At one point, during the last year or so in my addiction, he told me that he couldn’t deal with me anymore, and I had no choice but to respect his decision. I understood it for me, but I didn’t like that he was having to make this decision for his own life. That was the beginning of the end for me.
On April 8, 2021, I was dropped off at The Extension by the Barrow County Sherriff’s Office to start a journey that the judge strongly suggested I give a try. I had tried before but could not be fully honest with myself and continued to relapse. During my first few weeks at The Extension, I kept thinking that I was going to bust out and go back to where I knew I had hidden my last stash.
After a few months of treatment, I started to feel many new things. One of those was connection, then a sense of safety started to grow, and it seemed as if a new world opened up for me. I can’t say it was any one person or moment, but I think the most impactful thing was the consistency. I know now how powerful consistency is. My counselor was so patient and so unrattled and so consistent in her character. If she said something, she always backed it up. And it wasn’t even directed specifically at me; it was just something I witnessed in her. And that consistency started to build trust. It snowballed into these little, monumental moments.
My family has a history of addiction, and both of my parents were in the military, and I learned in one of my classes the similarities between people in addiction and in the military. I also learned that up to 60% of substance use disorders could be developed from genetics. I started to have these “aha” moments and it all began to come together; I could see how I got here.
I finally realized that I truly wanted a better way of living and wanted to be a better person for those who loved me.
I think the difference was that in the past I was ONLY getting sober because somebody else wanted me to, and I would eventually relapse. But this time, I was totally secluded from all my family and able to focus on myself. My son and I’s relationship was strained at best when I first got there. It was hard for him to trust that this time would work, and he had every right to feel that way. The rest of my family was supportive, but they had also been through this with me before. It was a moment where I had to decide for myself, “Can I really do this?” That’s the great thing about The Extension, being 12 months, it gives you time to integrate what you learn. So, once you go into the world, you know how to make sobriety work with real life.
My favorite lesson that I learned at The Extension is being on time. Growing up, we were always late for everything. I made me incredibly anxious and embarrassed everywhere we went. I would get detention for being late to school when I couldn’t even drive. I carried that anxiety with me, and I’m such a strong co-dependent that I always cared more about other people than I did myself. So, when I learned at The Extension that being late is disrespecting another person’s time, I definitely didn’t want to do that.
I also found out that I’m a total control freak. I’m the oldest of my sisters, so I would always help them do everything. I would formulate their lives for them, but I was told that by doing that, I was stealing their journey. That’s exactly opposite of what I was trying to do. I was trying to help them with their journey. With my son, I’ve learned that he has to walk through his own journey; he has to make his own decisions just like I did. There’s a lot of things going on inside of him that he doesn’t know how to name yet. That’s what I think growing up is, learning how to name those things and how to deal with them.
We each have our own roads to walk. And as I embraced my spirituality, I discovered the power of giving back. Helping others who are struggling, sharing my story, and providing support have become integral parts of my journey. I love to go and sit with the women at The Extension and witness their journey. Seeing the light come on for each of the ladies there brings me so much joy. I’m passionate about inspiring hope and fostering healing in those facing challenges similar to mine. I continue to learn more about myself and grow in ways that did not seem possible just several years ago.
I learned in treatment that drugs were never actually my problem, they were my solution. And they worked for me for a while, but it was never going to last. It took me a while to understand that my choices were impacting people around me. During the holidays, there was a Christmas Party at The Extension, and I was able to bring my sister. She got to meet my sponsor and my network. When we left the party she told me, “The whole time I just wanted to stand up in the middle of the room and say thank you for bringing my sister back!”
Today, I am proud to be a part of a community that I feel supported in and can support in return. I work as a paralegal, alongside a dedicated criminal defense and personal injury attorney. My work allows me to advocate for justice and support clients during their most difficult times, fulfilling my desire to make a positive impact. I continue to stay involved with The Extension and give back to the place that gave me everything. My relationship with my son and the rest of my family continues to grow and heal in new ways and they can now trust ME to be consistent and intentional.
There will never be a way to know for sure how recovery will work for you. There’s no crystal ball that can assure you you’re going to be ok. But if there’s any possibility that you could allow yourself to feel happiness and peace even just for a moment, then it’s worth it. Why not give yourself that chance?
