Stories of Hope… Jessica

“July 21, 2021, is a day I will always remember. I walked through the front doors of The Extension and was greeted by the most welcoming, supportive group of women. So welcoming that I started wondering what I had gotten myself into! I’d never met a group of women like them in my life.

For a long time, I didn’t consider myself an addict. I partied in my teens, but nothing was out-of-control. But at 23, my drug use started to escalate. I tried heroin for the first time, but I wasn’t truly addicted even then. I wasn’t using it every day, and I wasn’t physically reliant on it.

Things took a turn, though. My boyfriend then had been physically abusive, at times locking me in a room for days. When I finally left the relationship, I was in a dark place mentally, and my addiction worsened. Finally, it reached a point where I knew I needed to get help. I went to my mom and dad, who helped me get clean for a while at least. But, for nine years, this cycle would continue. I could be completely clean for a year, then would start using again.

In 2018, things took another turn. I met my fiancé, and not long after we got together, we began dabbling with heroin. Before I knew it, I found out I was four months pregnant with my son. I immediately got clean and stayed clean through the rest of my pregnancy, but I was so ashamed that I had used during those first few months. So I didn’t tell anyone. We lived in Florida at the time, and Hurricane Michael devastated the coast. We lost the house we planned to move into, but thankfully were able to move in with my mom and were both able to stay sober.

But in 2020, I relapsed, falling back into a dark place. It breaks my heart to say, but I even remember bringing my son along when I met drug dealers. After that, my fiancé wanted to leave me, and that’s when he encouraged me to call The Extension. He had gone through The Extension’s program years before, which was how he ultimately got sober. He knew about the women’s program from his time here and knew that it was what I needed.

Only having ever detoxed at home, I never experienced a real treatment program. I feel so blessed to have found The Extension. The counselors here are incredible. I was forced to really deal with my emotions for the first time. They challenged me to confront the things I’ve been through – all of the trauma I’ve dealt with and the abuse. I lost my sister to cancer when I was only six years old. My parents split up and had an unhealthy relationship. I experienced sexual abuse and later physical abuse. It wasn’t until I was at The Extension that I dealt with my sister’s loss. They had me write her a letter and mourn for the first time.

It was then that it really clicked for me. At that point, I was 100 percent in. I learned how to be honest with my counselors and honest with myself, even when it’s heart-wrenching. The counselors here speak the truth – whether you want to hear it or not. They want you to process your pain, to “rip off the band-aids” to get to the wound. That way, you can deal with the hurt while you’re here – instead of when you’re back in the real world.

I’m seven months into the program now and confidently say that The Extension saved my life. This week, my fiancé called to tell me he’s been cheating and wants to leave me. One year ago, I would not have stayed sober after that phone call. I would have lost it and fought to get him back. But instead, the first thing I wanted was to go straight to my counselors and talk it through with them; start to grieve it. Yes, I still will have to co-parent with him. But now, I can see my self-worth. I know that I deserve better.

It’s amazing. The Extension gives us the skills to experience hardship and continue anyway. It’s like they teach you what your parents should have. I’ve learned how to lead by example and focus on the solution instead of the problem. The women here are all different, but we share a common bond. We know what it’s like to face addiction. We grow together; we share our experiences and try to help one another. The tension never lasts here; when conflict happens, we use “I feel” statements, and we move through things.

Once we graduate, the women become part of the alumni and Sisters in Sobriety. As an alumnus, you can give back to the place that helped you build your foundation. We all look forward to helping others by leading a meeting or being a sponsor. Even women on staff here have faced addiction. My counselor was a client back in 2009 when The Extension first opened the women’s campus. She is living proof that these ideas, these phrases, actually work if you apply them. It’s been life-changing.”